How to consistently win in high-stakes situations

Have you ever walked out of a high-stakes presentation wishing you could get a ‘do over’?  Have you ever started a critical conversation and ended it without any resolution because the two parties left even more upset than when the conversation began?  Have you ever left a sales pitch only to realize that you left out a key message that could have been the deciding factor for the prospect to commit?

Conversely, have you ever seen a colleague or peer consistently deliver flawlessly and achieve the desired outcomes in these same ‘moments of truth’ and wanted to know what these people do to ensure they feel confident and win in the boardroom every time? It’s really not that complex, nor is it difficult to achieve.

As a corporate trainer, I’ve seen hundreds of people struggle unnecessarily through presentations, pitches, creative recommendations, budgets, and performance reviews. The most common reason for them not delivering the desired outcome is a lack of preparation.

They knew they could do better, and in some cases, they knew what and how to do, but they weren’t prepared for that ‘moment’. The key missing variable is that they didn’t make and take the time to rehearse in low-stakes environments.

Before I expand on this, let me clarify the simple difference between low-stakes and high-stakes situations.  The only real difference is that in low-stakes situations, the consequences of your actions will have little, if any, consequence.  Conversely, in a high-stakes situation, there typically are any combination of key decision-makers, clients, peers, and advisors in the room as well.  There also could be more theatrics like lights, video, demonstrations and microphones.  There could also have been a big lead-up to lots of discussions about the importance of this moment for the business.  There may be critical decisions that need to be made, and your recommendations can be a breaking point for a company.  These are external conditions that can understandably increase the tension or ‘stakes’ and affect your performance – but you can control and ultimately eliminate them to ensure you deliver the right impression.

Let’s look at an analogy of a golfer trying to make a simple two-foot putt.  They’re on the putting green, on their own, without anybody watching, nobody scoring, no prize money on the line, etc.  It’s considered a relatively easy putt and chances are they’d be successful at making that putt consistently.  Now take that exact same putt, two feet from the hole and add a $100,000 prize if you sink it.  Now add a global television network broadcasting that shot live in front of millions of viewers.  Add tens of thousands of live spectators.  Add your competitor watching from the sideline, ready to make the same putt to win if you miss. Oh, and then your caddy reminds you that this putt can make or break your career.  The actions to sink the putt are the same in this simulated high-stakes situation.  You need to remain focused on the same fundamentals you mastered rehearsing while managing the conditions around you to make that putt as consistent as you did in the low-stakes situation.

I myself had a similar experience that further reinforced the validity of rehearsing in low stakes.  Instead of running as I typically do to exercise, I thought I would take advantage of a local outdoor hockey rink built in our neighbourhood and play shinny.  It was a warm winter day; the sun was shining, snow was falling lightly, and the rink was empty – only me, the ice, a stick and a puck – so I decided that I was going to take advantage of the opportunity to practice a skill that I was never very good at – the slap shot. With no one else nearby and an open net, no one keeping score, no opponents trying to take the puck from me – this was about as low-stakes as it could get.  As a result, I was very relaxed and even excited that I would finally learn how to properly and effectively take a slap shot – something that I was always reluctant about and lacked confidence in.

Learning what do to and how it felt when doing it right.

Knowing that I had the time to really break down the fundamentals and the consequences of my actions had little impact or significance, I took advantage of the opportunity to focus on this one skill – and focus I did.  Shot after shot, I would calibrate my aim, sharpen my approach, smooth out my swing, reposition the blade of my stick, lift my head, increase the speed, exhale on the swing, get comfortable with the surroundings, balance my body position, etc,  Once I saw that I was able to take a good quality slap shot, I repeated this process learning how to eventually hit the top right corner just about every time (when I wanted).

I could never do this in the past, not because I didn’t have the skill, but because I never had (or took) the opportunity to learn. When you play games all the time and don’t practice, you rarely get the opportunity to improve your fundamentals. In my case, because I lacked the confidence (although I did have the ability), I never tried taking a slap shot, even when I had the opportunity.

Not only was it personally gratifying to have learned this particular fundamental, but I also felt more confident and knew what to do and how to replicate it in high-stakes situations (i.e. game situations).  I had the experience of doing it many times over – consistently.  I could visualize what I needed to do; I could break it down so I could replicate it over and over again.  I could do it without hesitation, allowing me to take ownership of and capitalize on that key ‘moment of truth’ when it happens.  And it worked!  The next time I was in a game (high stakes), I was able to tap into that previous experience and be confident, having performed before, and take that slap shot – like I’d never done before.  I continue to take them frequently, ultimately being a more productive contributor to the team.

”That’s great Kenny, you’ve mastered your slap shot, how does that help me in the board room?’  Good question.  So how do you transfer these low-stakes situations to the boardroom? It’s simply about taking those areas that you need or would like to excel (i.e. holding eye contact to appear more confident, handling questions at the end of your presentation to reinforce your credibility, confronting someone for a critical conversation to improve productivity, being more persuasive and getting others to buy into your creative concept, etc..), breaking down the fundamentals and practicing them in low-stakes situations.  Take yourself to the boardroom, and practice over and over again – getting comfortable with the actions and being aware of what and how you’re being when delivering that ‘moment of truth’.   You transfer that awareness, confidence, ability, and knowledge into those high-stakes situations, and ultimately, you are more effective.  It manifests as the same performance you deliver when all those other conditions that make up a high-stakes situation are present.

Some of the skeptics reading this might justifiably challenge this notion of rehearsing over and over again, claiming that if you’re not rehearsing the right thing or the right way, you may not be helping or improving your chance for success.  In other words, repeating the wrong activity over and over again – may end up hurting more than helping.   There certainly is some merit to that notion, so it is recommended that you seek out an objective third party to offer critique.  When rehearsing these key moments, gather feedback from a trusted and respected colleague or peer to ensure that what you’re rehearsing will have the right impact.  

Now, look at your calendar and see when that next ‘moment of truth’ is for you. Book some time in advance to practice as often as you can so that when you’re in that high-stakes situation, you’re comfortable and prepared, and that confidence and enthusiasm pay off with a ‘yes’ from your audience.